Sunday, March 18, 2012

Occupy Anything!!... Literally, Anything

On Tuesday, the Weekly Standard covered a story of yet another occupy movement in Washington D.C. However, instead of pertaining to a tax loophole or bank debacle, the target of this Occupy group was the tyrannical and villainous wind turbine industry! Now, I know many of you are thinking, wind turbines? You surely mean the big oil industry or some foreign policy legislation that the government has made with oil rich countries, right? Sadly, my uninformed citizens, all of these hypotheses are incorrect. Occupy’s sniper scope of justice has landed on the true culprit for corporate fraud and big government corruption: the environmentalists. And rest assured, occupy is sticking up for pheasant’s rights everywhere.

The protest took place at Freedom Plaza in Washington D.C. and was led by the anti-Occupy Wall Street movement, appropriately (redundantly) named Occupy Occupy D.C. Now, this group is actually an “Anti-Occupy” group, which means many of these protesters are right wing conservatives; many of whom are also involved in the tea party movements. Daniel Harper explained the focus of this protest in his article “Anti-Occupy Protest Takes on Bird Killing Wind Turbines,”

The target of today's protest are environmentalists who believe wind energy is a viable substitute to other forms of energy, such as coal or nuclear energy.

The National Center for Public Policy Research "estimate[s] that wind turbines kill approximately 100,000 birds every year. The American Bird Conservancy claims the number could be triple that estimate -- affecting the songbird community most of all."

That's why the environmentalists' approach is wrong, according to today's protesters.

Simply put, this group of conservative “protesters” created an issue and lashed out against the environmental party. Once seen as a pinnacle of liberal, almost untouchable ideals, now has begun its tragic fall from grace. But is there validity in that statement? I think not. What is taking place here is this idea of “Occupy the World.” There have been countless Occupy movements that pop up every day and last for a week before dropping out of the trending news cycle. The country has fallen into a quagmire of “gotcha moments and issues” for both conservative and liberal groups. Here is an ideal example of picking a random, albeit benevolent cause, and creating a protest with equal minded (equally dumb) people.

How is it possible that everything can be “Occupied?” And by going after the environmentalists for wind turbines that kill birds every year? I’m so sorry, I was unaware of the global catastrophe that is the bird genocide. The bourgeoisie Wind Turbine industry has identified its victim and must be stopped in the eyes of these protesters.

It is time to call protests like this what they are, a publicity stunt for the conservative party to say “yeah, we support the environment, but let’s keep drilling because wind turbines kill birds.” Protests such as these undermine the integrity of our right to assemble and demonstrate as citizens and dilute even further the cesspool that has become our American political environment.

Ultimately, this protest, like many before and many soon to come, will fade out in a week or two when the next ridiculous issue becomes a national movement and dominates our news cycle. The clear course of action now is to humbly sit back and enjoy. I can see it now, the Aflac duck and Big Bird teaming up to create a coalition. The Bird community is on the rise and fighting back. Watch out Ban Ki-moon, these feisty pheasants will be pounding on the doors of the UN security counsel in no time at all. As the executive director of this protest, David Almasi, said, “If I was a bird, I'd be an angry bird right now.”

No comments:

Post a Comment